So, all the whispers, all the hush-hush talk, all the surreptitious texts, all the coded language did come true. Rahul Gandhi stood up in front of everyone and showed that our vaunted democracy and that our hallowed constitution, are just pieces of paper that can be ripped apart and trashed. If you still don’t believe that this happened, I urge you to watch a video of Gandhi's presentation, to read the reports and connect the dots.

This piece is not a fanboy riff on RaGa; it is an ear-piercing hooter for the rest of us.

Gandhi opened a can of worms. He showed us we are all standing at the edge of the abyss and staring right into its dark void. Should we just take the plunge, go headlong into the rabbit hole?

Or should we step back and take a hard look at ourselves? Mindless tweeting and the digital slop to which we are addicted aren’t the answer. The solution – if there is one at all – perhaps lies elsewhere. For starters, here’s a to-do list for anyone who wants to get the ball rolling, and not kick the damned can down the road.

To the government, prime minister, home minister, Election Commission, Supreme Court: Ghairat. You know that word. It means having a spine. All democracies work on ummeed, yaqeen, and ghairat (hope, trust, dignity). If you have any ghairat, you’ll take this seriously. Prove him wrong and throw the book at him. Or, if he’s right – and you perhaps know he is – have the guts to launch a real, independent investigation into this whole rigged circus.

And if you don’t? Then you’re admitting it. You’re all in on the heist. Some of you are driving the getaway car; others are just silently holding the door open. We see you.

To the Election Commissioners: Resign. You weren’t just useless; you could also have been complicit referees paid by one team. The whole country is asking why the chief election commissioner is still warming that chair. Is the air-conditioning that good?

To the Haryana government: We know you don’t have the capacity for shame, but there are now questions on your legitimacy. People of Haryana, it is in your power to fix this.

To Narendra Modi: How about a special episode of Mann Ki Baat? We can even give you a title: “Mere desh ka vote kisne churaya (Who stole my country's vote)?” The nation is waiting. Send in your requests, people.

To our judges: Your Lordships, don’t snooze on your taxpayer-funded thrones. How about you dust off that old book called the constitution? Stop worrying about your cushy post-retirement gigs for two seconds and look in the mirror. Are you with the people, or are you the corrupt refs in a fixed match? Suo motu. Don’t you remember that word? 

To lawyers: Your moment has come. Drown the system in paper. Flood the nation’s broken courts with petitions. Make it impossible for them to ignore the stench.

To Congress party: Hey, remember that Gandhi guy? The one with the glasses and the stick? Time to follow in his footsteps. You can either become a movement or become a museum exhibit. Entirely your call.

If Congress fails: Then we know the truth. The cancer this government and its Sanghi masters have injected into the body politic is terminal.

To the khaki-shorts brigade – RSS and BJP: Is this it? Is this the “chal, chalan, chola, charitra” and “culture” you have been yammering about for a whole century? Is Modi bigger than India? Was all that talk just a smokescreen for this grand plunder?

To bureaucrats who helped: You think we don’t know you were in on it? A massive heist needs a bunch of insiders. What oath did you take? For which country? Why did you think you’d never get caught?

To President Droupadi Murmu: With all due respect, stop with the press releases about flower shows. Your job is to protect the Constitution. This is an open disrespect of democracy. And we are sure the constitution – oh, that darned document again! – gives you enough options and power to act. 

To Mohan Bhagwat: It’s the Sangh’s 100th year. A perfect time to prove that your organisation isn’t a hollow institution. Every saint has a past; every sinner has a future. Show us that you actually love this country more than you love power. This goes for all your volunteers too.

To godmen and the morality police: Your time is up. Stop giving lectures and tell us what god is really telling you to do right now. We’ll wait.

To opposition parties: Get it together and unite. Your turn is next. They are coming for you. You can either get picked off one by one or stand and fight for the soul of the nation.

To NDA allies (looking at you, Naidu and Nitish): When history asks, “What were you doing when democracy was being disrobed?” your answer will be, “We were holding the pompoms and cheering.” Think about that.

To Bollywood stars and cricket ‘heroes’: Stop being the government’s dancing monkeys. Refuse the cheap tweets, the trashy endorsements, the whole charade. Your silence is a pay cheque stained with the death of democracy.

To the media jesters: Especially you, primetime anchors. Stop pretending this isn’t happening. The facts are irrefutable. Do your job or be remembered as the court jesters who sang praises while the kingdom burned.

To the people of India: This lands on us. You. Me. Everyone. Stop screaming into the rabbit hole of social media. Find every platform – on the streets, in your communities, online – and raise hell. Put these crooks in the dock. Show them this country isn’t Modi’s personal property.

Finally, to everyone asking ‘what next?’ Team Rahul lobbed the grenade. He did his job. The question isn’t “What will he do now?” The question is, what are you going to do?

Because if the answer is “nothing”, congratulations. Enjoy the tamasha. And welcome to the post-democracy era. You’ve earned it. Now bring out your pompoms.

Nidheesh Tyagi is the founder of harkaraonline.com, a curated newsletter in Hindi for news and analysis to bring real journalism to Hindiwallahs. 

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