An Advisory on How to Interpret the Bihar Results, Whatever They May Be

This is a work of fiction. Although it may appear closer to reality than fiction for some.

§

Friends, it will be helpful to keep in mind the following broad guidelines when reporting and interpreting the Bihar results.

As you know, the exit polls have projected a run-away victory for the NDA. But we have to be realistic. And, the final call will need to be made on the 14th and thereafter.

First and foremost, whatever be the final Bihar results, it should be stressed forcefully that the Modi jaadu, or magic, remains intact and that the prime minister’s capacity to move the voters and set the narrative remains unimpaired. If the vote is against the NDA, it can be argued that the PM had an uphill task on his hands and that whatever seats have accrued to the ruling alliance, it was possible only because of the extensive campaigning undertaken by Shri Modi.

Second, whatever be the results, Rahul Gandhi’s role and performance should be denigrated. Even if the Mahagathbandhan should win, the Congress dynast’s contribution should be minimised. Under no circumstances, should the Congress and its ruling family be given the opportunity for political rehabilitation.

In case the NDA wins, Rahul Gandhi should be particularly castigated for his “vote chori” campaign. Newspaper readers and TV audiences should be reminded that Rahul is using this “vote chori” sleight of hand to cover his own failure as a vote-catcher. Editors should encourage their columnists to underscore how the Gandhis remain out of touch with the realities of India.

Third, whatever be the results,  the argument should be that Nitish Kumar’s time is over. Even if the NDA notches up a clear cut majority, it has to be emphasised again and again that Nitish babu’s health is really bad and that a crucial state like Bihar cannot afford to have a Biden-type situation, with the likes of Lallan Singh controlling the levers of power. The tag-line is clear: Bihar deserves a better deal than Nitish.

And, in case the NDA does not do all that well, then the editors’ task would be to write Nitish Kumar’s political obituary. We shall be able to provide a few juicy details of his dementia.

Fourth, should the NDA not be in position to form the next government, the theme song of “return of jungle raj”  will have to be played loudly and breathlessly. We shall arrange for a few chambers of commerce to express apprehension; economic editors should be approached to comment unfavorably on Bihar’s fate now that the Yadavs are back in the saddle.

In the most likely event of the Mahagadbanhban being invited to form the government, the onus should be put on the Congress for ensuring that Bihar does not become a lawless land. Rahul Gandhi and the Congress should be portrayed all over India as harbinger of anarchy and  chaos. Every incident, however small, of violence should be magnified, overplayed and over-projected as return of Jungle Raj and the blame should be put on Rahul’s door.

Whatever be the outcome, the Muslim vote should be called a vote of comfort for anti-national forces.

Whatever be the outcome, Chirag Paswan will need to be brought down a peg or two. The boy is becoming too big for his boots. We do not want to have him as a headache for the next two decades.

Should the NDA win, the vote will need to be interpreted not as any endorsement of the “sushashan babu” but as victory of Modiji’s agenda of “vikas.” A distinction should be made between Nitish’s revadis of handing out tax-payer’s money to women and the PM’s positive, forward-looking vision for Bihar as a Viksit Pradesh. The miracle the PM has performed in Uttar Pradesh, it should be pointed out, can now be replicated in this most backward state. That is, in case the NDA wins.

Whatever be the final tally of seats among parties, the Bihar result should be not interpreted as the shifting of political momentum away from Narendra Modi. Should the NDA form a government in Patna, the inference would be natural; but, in the unlikely event of Tejashwi Yadav becoming the chief minister, the central task before editors and anchors would be to ensure a narrative: Modi is the dominant political force, and he remains the man who can single-handedly re-set the national mood. A RJD victory is a bad day for the country but the nation should have faith and trust in Modi to weather the storm.

These points apart, the anchors and editors should by now have a definite familiarity with our priorities and preferences.

The Wire is now on WhatsApp. Follow our channel for sharp analysis and opinions on the latest developments.