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Jul 30, 2022

Henry Kissinger Is Guilty of Ignoring Our Supreme Leader

humour
From the Vishwaguru Archives: His book on leadership doesn't include the Prophet of Raisina Hill. Can it be banned? Can multiple FIRs be filed in America against the author? A plan of action for implementation by competent authority is underway.
Henry Kissinger and Narendra Modi. In the background is the cover of Kissinger's new book. Photo: Reuters
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This is a work of fiction. Although it may appear closer to reality than fiction.

“This is nothing short of blasphemy,” shouted the Supreme Leader’s Empowered Representative.

“He has committed a sin and we must find ways of making him pay for it,” SLER was livid.

The accused man is Henry Kissinger, former US secretary of state and now a distinguished historian. The charge against him is that he has just written a book on Leadership in which six world leaders are included but our own Prophet of Raisina Hill is not one of the chosen. 

The book is not yet available in India but the vishwagurus’s attention has been drawn to a review of Kissinger’s meditation on leadership in the latest Economist. The statesman-historian’s catalogue of great leaders consists of: Konrad Adenauer (the first chancellor of West Germany), Charles de Gaulle (of France), Richard Nixon (the disgraced rpesident of the United States), Lee Kuan Yew (of Singapore), Anwar Sadat (the assassinated leader of Egypt) and Margaret Thatcher (the first woman prime minister of England). 

From left: Konrad Adenauer, Charles de Gaulle, Richard Nixon, Lee Kuan Yew, Anwar Sadat and Margaret Thatcher. Photos (from left): Bundesarchiv (CC BY-SA 3.0 de), United States Library of Congress’s Prints and Photographs division (public domain), U.S. Army Audiovisual Center (public domain), White House Photographic Office (public domain), U.S. Air Force (public domain), and The Thatcher Estate (copyrighted free use).

Kissinger’s exclusion of our own Supreme Leader is deemed nothing short of a national crisis. 

An emergency meeting of the Crisis Management Committee was called. Quorum: SLER (chair); the foreign office operative (FOO), social media man (SMM); and, NRI overseer (NRIO).

All the four had photo-copies of the Economist’s review in front of them. The NRIO was the only one who had read a little longer review in the Wall Street Journal of July 9 and he made bold to point out that the 99-year-old Kissinger  had confined himself to leaders of the 20th century and could not possibly include our Supreme Leader, whose first assumed high office in 2001, two years into the new century.

“On the other hand, Kissinger has excluded Jawaharlal Nehru and Indira Gandhi,” said the FOO, pleased with his ability to spin a crisis into an opportunity. “Had Kissinger included either the father or the daughter, we would have had a bone to pick with him.”

An unappeased SLER shouted: “He may be 99 years old; but he is not blind. Can’t he see that our Leader is the only man providing transformative leadership. Who is there in the world to challenge his stature? Boris is gone; Trump is history; Abe is done with; Netanyahu is very, very iffy. “

Now fully riled, the SLER was unstoppable: “ Look all the qualities that this biased  historian locates in these so-called six leaders – personal discipline, self-improvement, charity, patriotism and self-belief – all these qualities are over-abundantly visible in our very own Leader.”

Being men of action and being accustomed to having their way at home, the principals at the Crisis Management Committee were in agreement that it is imperative that Kissinger be made to see reason.

The social media man piped in: “To begin with, we can unleash a tsunami of trolls that the old fellow will never be able to have any peace of mind. We do have the wherewithal to demonise the man right in the heart of the United States. We can make him feel the awe of Naya Bharat’s reach and its capacity for venom.”

Not the one to be left out, the FOO put in his oar: “We can easily ask all our missions, especially in Europe and the Americas, to write letters of protest to Kissinger’s publishers, with a threat to boycott the book. We can make these westerners realise the power of Modi ji’s India.” 

The social media man, too, was now worked up: “We can easily ban the book; formally or informally. Even better, we can demonstrate and agitate in front of any book-shop that dares to sell Kissinger’s latest. Perhaps an easy and cheaper way of energising our cadres.” And, in what he hoped would be a masterstroke, he added, “We can ask pravasi patriots to file FIRs against Kissinger in four of five different police stations across the United States since their religious and ethnic sentiments have been hurt.” 

The NRIO thought that this might not be possible but chipped in with a suggestion of his own: “We can tap our overseas friends to make Kissinger a lucrative offer which he cannot possibly refuse. We know how the Chinese have enriched him over the decades. We can also do it. He can be asked to appear for an interview on one of our national television channels. And, then leave him at the mercy of our anchors who would extract the most lavish praise out of this seasoned diplomat for our own Supreme Leader.  Our friends tell us it is entirely doable – provided the price is right.” 

SLER: “Money is no issue. What is a million dollar here or a million pounds there when national interest, national image or national prestige is involved. But I am really cheesed off with our “concerned” ex-IFS crowd. They preen themselves as being on top of global things yet they didn’t have a clue that Henry Kissinger was not going to include our Supreme Leader in his book.” 

Addressing himself to the NRIO, the FOO wondered aloud whether it would be worth our effort to hire a lobbyist in Washington to remind the American people of our own Supreme Leader and his outstanding leadership qualities.

A plan of action was agreed upon, to be sanctioned by the competent authority. 

Kissinger will hear from Naya Bharat.

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