This is a work of fiction. Although it may appear closer to reality than fiction.
The day after history was rewritten and a new age began with the inauguration of a new building for our parliament, the core of the ruling group (minus ‘the Boss’) met to consider how the Sengol ball was to be taken forward.
A draft of the discussion is now available as guidance.
1. It was unanimously agreed to compliment the Saheb for most ingeniously having introduced the Sengol to our national political vocabulary. Till a few weeks ago, no one had heard of the word and no one had any idea there was something like it tucked away somewhere in our imagination. Now, this country and its media have a controversy that they would keep kicking around for a while. We should ask a writer like Chetan Bhagat to do a piece on “Modi as the Master of the Universal Imagination,” which could then be repurposed as a series on Netflix.
2. It was remarked, half-seriously, that sadly there is no Oscar for political scriptwriting. Otherwise, our Saheb would have walked away with the honour this year (and indeed all years since 2014). The Sengol script would have been a runaway winner. Saheb is indeed the greatest event manager the world has seen since that clown from Munich.
3. Equally, half-seriously, it was pointed out that Saheb was a perfect disciple of Guruji who had years ago stressed the importance of manufacturing a vivaad (controversy) as a tactic to steer public attention to our advantage. Being a diligent student of Guruji’s teachings, who in turn was much influenced by the strategies and tactics used by the new European strongmen after World War I, our Supreme Leader knows how to invent history and myths. This Sengol business has reinforced his reputation as Guruji’s greatest pupil.
4. It was decided that the BJP president, Shri J.P. Nadda should be advised to ask all party MPs, MLAs and Union and state ministers to display hon’ble Prime Minister’s photoshoot with the Sengol on all their social media handles like Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, etc. This display would be a most fitting reply to all those who accuse us of monarchical tendencies. A beloved leader rules over the hearts of millions of his followers, and his followers in turn feel blessed if they get a chance to demonstrate their love and affection for the Leader.
5. It was agreed that the speaker of the Lok Sabha should be requested to arrange for the public display of the Sengol in all state assemblies, where citizens would be encouraged to see for themselves the potent symbol that Modiji has resurrected from our attics. It was pointed out that in popular discourse the Sengol is already being referred to as ‘Modi’s Power.’ A feeble, dissenting voice pointed out that we could be accused of imitating the Kashmiri Muslims’ ritual of the annual display of the “Holy Relic.” The objection was overruled. After all, we are a party that advertises itself as a party that is “sab ke saath”. And in any case, there is no harm in borrowing good practices from any source, even an Islamic one, as long as it serves the project of our Supreme Leader. Any suggestion of divine blessing for our Leader is a powerful sentiment. The “mother of democracy” surely has the right to assimilate other lesser traditions in her bosom if they are useful.
6. The Ministry of External Affairs is to be advised that it should commission the production of a coffee table book about the new parliament building. It should be a world-class production, classy yet opulent. It was emphasized that special care should be taken to highlight prominently the photos of the Hon’ble Prime Minister with the revered sadhus and saints. Let the whole world know that India has changed and that we are no longer apologetic about being called a Hindu Raj. In fact, all our ambassadors and high commissioners can be asked to send the coffee table book to prominent leaders, citizens, and businessmen in their respective countries of accreditation. Any IFS babu displaying any kind of squeamishness should be sent for re-education in the Bharatiya mode of thought. It was noted that the external affairs minister is most positive and enthusiastic about this project.
7. The Press Information Bureau and the IT Cell should be asked to join hands to nudge and needle the media, of all kinds, to ensure that the Sengol story does not fade away. The Cell can use AI to draft new stories about “democracy” in ancient Indian traditions and how the Hon’ble Prime Minister is the first and foremost spiritual heir to that glorious history. Just for the sake of a bit of fun, let us even add a citation or two from Romilla Thapar in support of our narrative. It would rile those liberals to no end. The good part of the story is that the media, now totally deprived of any hard and authentic news, is fully trained to dish out whatever gets served to them from our side. The NDTV documentary series on the achievements of our government is a case in point.
8. The University Grants Commission and other educational regulators should be advised to see to it that a Sengol chapter gets introduced in all social sciences/history textbooks at all levels. And, while adding the Sengol story to our syllabus, we should excise all references to Jawaharlal Nehru other than those necessary to push the historicity of the Sengol. Going further, courses in Sengol Studies could be designed for the BA and MA level, to complement the teaching of Narendra Modi Thought.
9. Finally. Our most democratic and popular ally – social media – must be used creatively to tell the “truth” about how Nehru masqueraded as a person with “scientific temper” while doing all that puja on August 14, 1947. On the other hand, our own Hon’ble Prime Minister performs Hindu rituals openly and sincerely and makes no pretence to being anything other than a Hindu ruler. There is no place for hypocrisy in New India.
Atmanirbhar is the pen-name of an aspiring satirist, who irregularly contributes a column, From the Vishwavguru Archives, and believes that ridicule and humour are central to freedom to speech and expression.
