Mayura Saavi 
Indore: The idea of two people choosing each other despite political and societal barriers is revolutionary. And in a country where same-sex marriage is not recognised, where caste-endogamous marriages are the norm, and where trans love stories are violently erased, the wedding of Nikunj and Avani a milestone in this revolution.
Nikunj, a trans man, and Avani, a trans woman, got married on February 12, 2025, at Indore. Nikunj was born into a Jain family, and Avani has a Scheduled Caste Hindu background. They chose to marry following Buddhist traditions. In India, Buddhism has long been a refuge for culturally and socially marginalised communities, offering an egalitarian path free from hierarchical constraints.
Nikunj and Avani’s ceremony, rooted in equality and mutual respect, embodies the essence of maitri (loving-kindness) and karuna (compassion) that the Buddha spoke of, challenging oppression and affirming the right to love freely.
By embracing this tradition, the couple not only honoured their identities but also rejected the religious hegemonies that place cisgender men at the top of social hierarchies. Their wedding was more than a personal commitment, it was a powerful act of reclamation, a declaration of dignity, and a defiant assertion of their rightful place in a society that often seeks to erase them.
Nikunj and Avani, during their wedding ceremony. Photo: By arrangement.
A visibility paradox
While LGBTQ+ rights in India have gained some visibility in very recent years, trans individuals continue to face relentless discrimination and systemic violence. The struggle begins in childhood, where gender non-conforming children are often shunned, disowned, or subjected to conversion practices by their families. Without family support, many become homeless and are forced into exploitative conditions such as begging or sex work.
The violence trans women face is unrelenting: they are denied jobs, refused housing, harassed on the streets, and subjected to brutal violence from police and otherwise. Their existence is constantly under threat, forcing many into unsafe labor or isolating them from mainstream society. Many documentaries have shed light on the harsh realities of trans women’s lives, revealing the systemic oppression and everyday dangers they endure.
Despite legal recognition, survival remains a constant battle against deep-seated prejudice. In a society that refuses to grant them basic rights, the pursuit of love, dignity, and self-determination becomes not just an act of defiance, but a radical assertion of existence itself.
On the other hand, trans men, while equally marginalised, are often rendered invisible. Unlike trans women, who are directly subjected to relentless discrimination, trans men are frequently erased from public discourse. Their identities are often misunderstood, dismissed as mere “tomboyishness” or seen as women attempting to climb a so-called “upper ladder” of masculinity. This invisibilization results in forced marriages, emotional isolation, lack of healthcare access, etc.
Nikunj’s journey, however, was different, thanks to an unexpected ally – his mother. At a time when he had not yet come out, she recognised his struggles before he could fully articulate them. Her unwavering support changed the course of his life.
Nikunj and Avani, with Nikunj’s mother, Anita. Photo: By arrangement.
One evening, as she watched Satyamev Jayate, a popular TV show hosted by actor Aamir Khan, an episode on LGBTQ+ individuals changed her perspective. Listening to parents speak about their non-conforming children, she recognised her own child’s silent struggles.
That night, she sat beside Nikunj and gently said, “I understand that you want to live as a boy, as a man. And I am here by your side, whatever comes.”
From that day onward, she was with him – through his transition, in navigating societal stigma, or in simply being his source of strength.
But it wasn’t easy for her. In a society where a child’s identity is seen as a reflection of the mother, Anita faced relentless blame, accused of “faulty” parenting, scrutinised for Nikunj’s transition, and pressured to conform. Yet, she stood firm, defying her husband and their larger family, choosing her son’s happiness over societal judgment.
At the wedding, Anita stood proudly by Nikunj’s side, celebrating every ritual. With warmth and pride, she said, “My daughter became my son, but he brought me a daughter and many more children.” Anita was referring to the queer and trans persons embraced by Nikunj and Avani through shelter home, Mera Kunba.
A home
Nikunj and Avani’s story is rooted in a shared commitment to their community. Avani first approached Tapish, a nonprofit founded by Nikunj, for help with her transgender identity documents. Soon after, she was invited to volunteer, assisting others in navigating similar hurdles.
Despite working in a corporate job, Avani was deeply passionate about working for the community. She joined Tapish as a volunteer, working on trans rights and community projects. Over time, their shared struggles, values, and dedication to uplifting other trans persons brought them closer.
Nikunj and Avani built Mera Kunba (literally, my family), a pioneering shelter home in Madhya Pradesh under Tapish. More than just a refuge, it provides trans and queer persons with vital support, including help with bureaucratic processes, guidance for education and employment, and essentials like food, emotional, and mental health care. For those rejected by their biological families, the home offers a chosen family, safety and a sense of belonging.
Nikunj and Avani, with their friends at Mera Kunba, during their wedding ceremony. Photo: By arrangement.
This wedding was a week-long celebration at this home, with members joyfully participating as the gharwale barati (family and wedding procession). They danced in the sangeet, enjoyed the mehendi celebrations, and embraced their chosen gender and attire without fear of judgment.
New meaning
Nikunj and Avani’s choice to marry in a Buddhist tradition was significant. In doing so, they gently moved away from the patriarchal and caste-based customs of Hindu and Jain weddings, opting for a ritual that reflected their values of equality and justice.
Avani, who had been fascinated by Buddha’s teachings since childhood, often visited a local Buddha Vihar near her home. “I’ve always wanted to get married in a Buddhist tradition. A few years ago, I attended a friend’s Buddhist wedding, and it resonated deeply.”
Nikunj, on the other hand, had been profoundly influenced by Dr. B.R. Ambedkar’s ideology during his three-year fellowship on constitutional values. Thus, their decision to adopt Buddhist marriage was a reflection of their shared ideals.
Surrounded by their “kunba,” friends, allies, and community members, Nikunj and Avani exchanged vows not of obedience, but of mutual respect and support. In a departure from traditional rituals, instead of the groom tying a mangal sutra on the bride, they embraced the Maha Mangal Sutta from the Pali text, which emphasises the conduct of a couple in fostering a happy and respectful life. They exchanged Ashoka Chakras, symbolising their commitment to walking the Dhamma path together, marking the beginning of their shared journey.
‘They exchanged Ashoka Chakras, symbolising their commitment to walking the Dhamma path together, marking the beginning of their shared journey.’ Photo: By arrangement
“It felt incredibly calming. There was no rush or pressure to perform rigid rituals that often feel meaningless, no long ceremonies based on hierarchical roles where the husband is seen as supreme. It was simple, fulfilling, and peaceful. The soothing chants of the Maha Mangal Sutta in the background made us feel even more at ease,” said Nikunj.
Nikunj and Avani’s is not just a trans marriage but an inter-caste, interfaith, and intercultural union that challenges deep-seated biases and redefines love beyond societal constructs. More than a personal milestone, their marriage is a declaration of love, resilience, and community care. Through their work, they are building a world where trans and queer individuals don’t just survive, they thrive with dignity.