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What’s in a Name?

When I boarded a taxi in the capital and came face-to-face with the ambiguity of my religion.
Mrinal Pande
Nov 12 2019
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When I boarded a taxi in the capital and came face-to-face with the ambiguity of my religion.
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What’s in a name? Quoth a bard...
and a yogi.

I swipe left and right
on twenty-six profiles in a row
before I notice my fingers
automatically
brush aside names of a certain kind
before my mind even begins
to utter them.

I remember my mother laughing about how
her father told her she could marry anyone,
anyone, except – she pauses, all laughter gone.

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And says,
'We have very different cultures.'

And I nod,
automatically
at the fading sounds of evening azaan,
spooning another mouthful of yesterday’s biryani
into my mouth.

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My playlists and bookracks and
Netflix watchlists are full of names I’m not allowed to match with.

My Uber driver flashes a grin as he asks me,
“Madam, aap Hindu ho?”
Absentmindedly, I tell him my drop location is JNU, err,
What? Oh, yes, I think, I mean – I am, I suppose, a Hindu.

He nods vigorously at my name
on his screen – an accident of birth,
a conscious choice reinforced
in a quarter-century’s worth
of government forms.

We have men across the river, he says,
In hundreds. “…if they ever trouble you, you let us know.”

And whom do I call if it’s you?
My question dies a silent death
so I don’t have to.

Amrita is a 25-year-old with an MA in Applied Economics from CDS-JNU, who writes to find goodness in a haywire world.

Featured image credit: Pariplab Chakraborty

This article went live on November thirteenth, two thousand nineteen, at zero minutes past twelve at night.

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