"Katta lahrane wali sarkar chahiye ya Pakistan pe gola barsaane wali sarkar chahiye?"

"Modi ji nein Makhana Board banaya, Lalu & Company aa jayegi to Ghuspaithiya Ghusao Board banayegi."

"Rahul aur Lalu jitna bhi virodh karen, Bhajpa wale Rs 850 crore mein Sita mata ka bhavya mandir bana ke rahenge."

Who in Indian politics today is capable of delivering these powerful dialogues, loaded with profound philosophical content, in such decent language? Look at the choice given: a government in which goons flash cheap guns or a government that bombards Pakistan. Katta or gola. Peace and harmony are no more the options – either live in fear of goons or see the neighbours writhing in pain. The political imagination has changed fundamentally; so has the vocabulary. The land of Buddha and Gandhi gave the world the philosophy of truth and non-violence. The land of Modi and Shah is obviously weaving a different worldview.

Look at the binary: "Makhana Board" and "Ghuspaithiya Ghusao Board". Imagine a bus driven by Tejashwi Yadav bringing thousands of illegal infiltrators to Patna; the cheerful "ghuspaithiya" – "infiltrators" – then munching on fried makhana distributed by the Mohabbat ki Dukan wallah Rahul Gandhi; and once the "ghuspaithiya" are comfortably nestled in air-conditioned houses built on land in Bhagalpur that might have been leased to Adani – at a reasonable rate of Re 1 per acre – Rahul and Tejashwi rushing to Sitamarhi to oppose Sita Mata’s temple.

What imagination! How creative! Who? But who else? Yes, the dialogues mentioned above were delivered by home minister Amit Shah.

Bihar is indeed witness to a bizarre spectacle of colourful metaphors spicing up the electoral discourse. While Rahul and Tejashwi are singing the jaded and melancholic songs of jobs and justice, Modi and Shah have introduced the blazing katta-gola rap to enthrall the audience. The men and women in Bihar’s villages who can’t buy enough grains for two meals a day and whose children die for want of medicine must gear up for the thrill of bombs being rained on Pakistan. The pain and gore across the borders will, after all, lessen the ache of the empty stomach.

 Vote-Chori remedy

The photograph of the Brazilian model in Haryana’s electoral rolls showed the ugly face of electoral fraud in India. But there was something uglier on display: the callous response of the ruling BJP and the apathy of the Election Commission. Speaking on the shocking revelations in Rahul Gandhi’s press conference, BJP president J.P. Nadda said the “farzi press conference” only highlighted the Opposition's fear of losing Bihar. He insisted that only photo-shoot and drama can’t win elections and that hard work on the ground is required.

Also read: Fake Narratives and Prime Minister’s Credibility

Nadda’s confused messaging about “photo-shoot” and “drama” might have made some wonder who he was targeting. Was it Rahul who was photographed under the sea and inside caves, waving at clouds and in empty streets, and busy at a photoshoot in a wildlife park when Indian jawans were blown to bits in Pulwama? When people were dying of Covid, was it Rahul who instigated the thali-taali drama and got his photograph printed on the vaccination certificate? And was it Narendra Modi who walked from Kanyakumari to Kashmir, and travelled from Manipur to Mumbai to unite India?

Jokes apart, who doesn’t want a clean and flawless voters’ list? Some people might have objections to Rahul Gandhi’s Vote-Chori inference but the real question is this – how should the government and the Election Commission deal with the facts that have been brought out? If there are millions of duplicate or fake voters and the electoral rolls are littered with bogus addresses, shouldn’t the Election Commission acknowledge the problem? Is there any need for members of the ruling party to start screaming to silence those pointing out the anomalies? Unreasonable responses from the Election Commission, the government and the BJP have only deepened the suspicion in the minds of common people.

What Rahul has shown clearly points to disturbing issues nobody in the country can be happy about. An honest and sensible government would have lent its voice to the Opposition’s cry for a fair investigation. But the Chief Election Commissioner Gyanesh Kumar, central ministers and BJP leaders demonstrated exceptional antagonism and callousness, as if they were at war with the Opposition parties. That there is no unity of purpose on the sacred necessity of a clean electoral roll indicates the depth of rot in politics today. Attempts to discredit the Leader of Opposition by sophistry and ridicule can’t close this chapter. Haven’t we heard: "ye tay jano tabhi kudo asoolon ki ladai mein/ki raaten kuchh na bolengi chiragon ki gawahi mein (Be warned that when you join a battle of principles, it may well be that dark nights will refuse to bear testimony/remain silent in favour of lamps that bring light)."

Traitor's misfortune

Who hasn’t nurtured a viper in his bosom? In politics, this scourge has spared none. Rahul Gandhi is probably the worst victim of betrayal. The political grapevine in Bihar has been abuzz with stories about the BJP’s moles in Nitish Kumar’s coterie. Many political non-entities nursed and empowered by Nitish presumed the veteran politician was fading away and started snuggling in the BJP’s lap. Nitish was almost crippled politically as his confidants worked to promote the BJP’s interests and this came to the fore during the negotiations for tickets and selection of candidates.

But the plot unravelled suddenly and Nitish fortified his position by restructuring his inner circle, recalling some of his trusted political lieutenants and bureaucrats. He is said to have even used his axis with Lalu Prasad to escape from the BJP’s clutches, choosing the safe election time to strike back. Such slogans started floating in some constituencies – Teer hi lalten hai, lalten hi teer hai (the lantern is the arrow), suggesting a tacit understanding between the RJD and the JD(U) – the lantern is the RJD’s symbol, and the arrow the JDU’s).  Some cruder versions were also heard: Chirag ko saaf karo, BJP ko half karo (Remove Chirag, reduce BJP in half).

Reports from the ground suggest JDU supporters haven’t voted enthusiastically for the BJP and Chirag Paswan’s candidates, and their combined strength might be too low for the NDA to reach the majority mark. That will doubtless thrust Nitish into the driving seat again. If that happens, what is the fate that awaits the traitors? In the past, Nitish has ruthlessly discarded his commanders when he doubted their loyalty. Sharad Yadav, R.C.P. Singh, Prashant Kishor are some of the names on this list. Does the same fate await Lallan Singh, Sanjay Jha and Vijay Chowdhary, who Tejashwi Yadav has publicly accused of being sold to the BJP? Nitish, who knows more about betrayal than any other Indian politician, reminds us of this couplet from Rahat Indori, “Maine duniyan se mujh se duniyan nein/Saikado baar bewafai ki (I have been disloyal, and my friends have let me down/a hundred times over).”

Sanjay K. Jha is a political commentator.

This article went live on November ninth, two thousand twenty five, at nineteen minutes past ten in the morning.

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