Amidst Lockdown, Kashmiri NGO Helps Men and Women from Poor Families Get Married
Quratulain Rehbar
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Srinagar: Wearing a plain red salwar-kameez with an embroidered dupatta, Saleema Jan, 20, sits among other 40 brides who are having their nikaah (marriage) ceremony. Her mother, Fareeda Begum, looks at her closely while they wait for Saleema's turn to get married.
About 13 couples have already been married here in the last three hours. Others wait for their turn or for the arrival of their brides or grooms, all coming from different distances at the time when there is barely any transport on the roads.
Saleema came from Kiswari Budgam with her mother after they found out that the ceremony was going to take place. “Because of the situation, I had no idea that my nikaah ceremony was scheduled. I came to know a day before,” she says.
Assembled in Darsgah in Khansahib Budgam, parents from several poverty-stricken villages like Zugo, Arizal and Khareen have came to get their children's married. They say that at this moment, when Kashmir is witnessing hard times, weddings happening like this has eased their burden.
On October 5, NGO Aash, The Hope of Kashmir facilitated the marriage of almost 40 couples. The weddings were earlier scheduled for July 24, but had to be postponed because of restrictions.
Door-to-door assessment
According to the chairperson of Aash, Quratulain Masoodi, because of the total communications blackout, they had to do a door-to-door assessment and meet different families in person to let them know the date and venue of the marriage.
“Where there is a will, there is a way. We had promised these couples a wedding, it was something we couldn’t have delayed more,” says Masoodi, who even fell sick because of her tireless efforts to reach every family. “For the past few months, we have been going to different places in Budgam. This was quite difficult but also very necessary."
Couples at the Khan-sahib Budgam had registered for the nikaah ceremony before the government read down Article 370. “We had almost 100 registrations before, when the situation was normal, and thankfully we managed to marry almost 40 couples," according to Masoodi.
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Aash supports poor families and orphans, and helps them get married by providing bridal wear and other required material. Last year, Aash managed to arrange its first event in October, where more than 40 couples were married. Then, Aash had arranged gold ornaments and dresses for the brides. “Right now we couldn’t arrange for gold because of the situation, but we gave them dresses and a complete makeup kit.”
Citing dowry as the main reason for late marriages, a man whose 30-year-old daughter was one of women to get married said that his family was happy when they found out about Aash, “I wasn’t able to get my daughter married. I am a labourer and I don’t have any land or enough money. This is a good initiative, and as per our religion marriages have to occur this way,” he says.
People sell land for daughters' weddings
Twenty-two-year-old Shakeela has studied till Class 12 in a government school. After that, her parents couldn’t afford her education. She wears a plain green dress for her wedding and is happy that her parents are not having to spend money. But Shakeela was not able to do any shopping for her marriage. “Shops are shut and everything is closed, I couldn’t buy a dress in such a short span of time.”
The organisation was able to reach certain families only a day before the ceremony to let them know about the venue and time. Shakeela was one of them.
From Zogu Budgam, almost 15 km from Budgam district headquarters, Shakeela had come with her father, a labourer who earns about Rs 400 per day. “By marrying this way, people do away with the extravagance which families like us can’t afford," she said.
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According to Shakeela, the people from her area usually sell their land for their daughters' weddings. “Sometimes they even have to borrow money from others."
Zeba Bano, who has three daughters already married, had to sell her land in 2015 for her daughter's wedding. According to her, one of her daughters was divorced after Zeba’s family couldn’t afford to pay dowry. “First we used to give her things, but then we couldn’t afford it. After some time, her husband divorced her,” she said.
Earlier, about 25 nikaah ceremonies were conducted in Srinagar on October 5, by the same organisation. That was much more organised; this time the organisation has done whatever they were able to given the circumstances.
Quratulain Rehbar is a Kashmir-based journalist working with the Kashmir Walla magazine.
This article went live on October sixteenth, two thousand nineteen, at fifty-two minutes past twelve at noon.The Wire is now on WhatsApp. Follow our channel for sharp analysis and opinions on the latest developments.
