A few days ago, I accompanied a friend who was house-hunting in one of the fancier neighbourhoods of Gurgaon (now called Gurugram). A couple of real estate brokers wanting to show him a possible home for rent in that neighbourhood tried to enter the premises without the requisite permission and were stopped by a security guard.
The large, loud and pushy brokers tried to tell the security guard it was no big deal, and they should just let their car (that my friend and I also happened to be in) pass. The security guard, a thin, uniformed man, politely but firmly told them that he did not have the permission to let them into the gated colony.
The brokers started getting louder and louder, but the guard would not budge. One of the brokers then lost his temper, swore at the security guard and started physically pushing him around. At which point, the guard said to them loudly and clearly, “Do not touch me and do not swear at me.”
The brokers then began screaming. Residents of the neighbourhood started gathering around, but by this time, the brokers seem to have lost all sense of self-control.
The security guard, to his great credit, did not get intimidated. He called the other security guards on his walkie-talkie but kept saying, “How dare you abuse me! How dare you get physical with me!”
One of the brokers, probably in a state of shock and disbelief that someone had actually stood up to him, turned to the crowd and in a moment of profound un–self–awareness and screamed, “Do I look like the kind of person that will ever misbehave with anybody??”
Once we were sure that the security guard had help and reinforcements, my friend and I hailed a passing auto rickshaw, climbed into it and left.
The most striking memory from that day is the guard’s courage and refusal to back down in the face of bullying.
A few days later, a similarly ugly scene unfolded. Only this time it was in the White House, the residence of the most powerful man in the world, with Donald Trump and J.D. Vance berating and browbeating the democratically elected head of a country that has been under a merciless and brutal assault by Putin’s Russia.
Volodymyr Zelenskyy handled the ‘ambush’ in the White House with as much dignity and courage as is humanly possible in the face of rank and obnoxious behaviour. He even went on to give a dignified interview to Fox News, of all channels, in which he calmly but honestly and directly spoke to the American people and asked them to help the people of Ukraine.
Whatever comes next (and without a doubt, a lot will), there is no question that Zelenskyy emerged the bigger man on February 28 from the White House – in the same way that the security guard in Gurugram doubtless won the respect of some of those standing around. He certainly earned mine.
Bullying is a social, psychological (and political) phenomenon that is as old as the human race. The unjustifiable desire to dominate another unfortunately exists at every level of society – families, classrooms, workspaces and of course, in the global arena.
The act of bullying, more than anything else, shows that there is something profoundly wrong with the bully. The desire to dominate, hurt, marginalise and exploit is always indicative of pathology on the part of the aggressor. Happy and peaceful people do not feel the need to hurt others.
The only way to handle a bully is to stand up to him or her. Zelenskyy managed to do that in the face of what many political commentators are calling a pre-planned ambush. An act of courage has a profound effect on others. The massive outpouring of respect and support for Zelenskyy from several leaders in Europe is proof of that.
It goes without saying our own prime minister could learn a thing or two about courage and mettle from the president of Ukraine.
What happens next with Ukraine is anybody’s guess, but Zelenskyy’s quiet courage in the face of the world’s worst bullies – both Russian and American – will go down in history.
As for the security guard in Gurugram, I plan on meeting him soon. If nothing else, then just to tell him I admired his courage. Hopefully, he still has his job.
Rohit Kumar is an educator, author, and independent journalist and can be reached at letsempathize@gmail.com.
