Kozhikode: A married woman’s complaint that her husband repeatedly forced her to have sex with other men under a suspected wife-swapping practice has triggered a fresh debate on women’s rights and domestic abuse in Kerala.
Following the woman’s complaint, the police in Kottayam district registered a case under Indian Penal Code (IPC) Sections 376 (rape), 377 (unnatural offences) and 506 (criminal intimidation). The police subsequently made seven arrests in the case, discovering a ‘racket’ in which thousands of people were alleged to be involved.
While some criticised the very practice of ‘swapping’ partners, others said the problem was the lack of free consent, not the practice in and of itself.
The details of the case
A 26-year-old married woman from the Kottayam district recently revealed – first on a podcast on YouTube and later through a formal police complaint – that her husband repeatedly forced her to have sexual relations, including “unnatural sex”, with other men.
The husband allegedly did this in order to have sex with other married women and also in exchange for money.
The woman approached the police after having enduring two years of intimidation and harassment at the hands of her husband. The police soon found that the husband was part of a larger wife-swapping network, where the couples were allegedly ‘exchanging’ their spouses among themselves. The police said that while some of the sexual encounters were consensual, others were not.
The woman’s complaint led to the arrests of several men and subsequently triggered widespread outrage, both online and offline.
However, in the debates that followed, opinions were divided. While many criticised the entire practice of ‘exchanging’ sexual partners for social, moral and ethical reasons, others condemned only the use of force and threats in the practice, having no qualms with the practice as a whole.
The Kerala Women’s Commission, for its part, ordered a high-level police inquiry into the case. P. Satheedevi, chairperson of the commission, in a statement said that the woman’s complaint and subsequent arrests suggest a trend that could “disrupt the social order”. “A culture in which women are considered as commodities is a reason to worry and a sign of decaying social values. It should end immediately,” she said.
This is not the first time that women have reported being sexually abused under such wife-swapping arrangements in the state. In 2019, the Kerala police arrested at least four people after a woman made a similar complaint against her husband, alleging that he forced her to have sexual relationships with other men.
Also read: Marital Rape: Concept of Wife’s Irrevocable Consent Must Be Abrogated, Delhi HC Told
‘Partner swapping’ or ‘human trafficking’?
According to the police, around 5,000 couples were found active on various social media groups that promoted couple-swapping. It is, however, not clear how many women are actually active on these online groups.
The Wire spoke to four Kerala women – a feminist historian, a social worker and two lawyer-activists – to understand how they view the Kottayam woman’s complaint as well as the broader concept of couple-sharing, which has initiated fresh debates on women’s rights and social values.
Devika, a feminist historian and social critic, said she sees nothing wrong in people sharing their partners if their consent had been obtained, adding that the practice has been prevailing in the state from as early as the 1970s and 80s. “This is not a new thing. It’s been practised here for a long time,” she said.
She said that some women are willing to participate in the practice because they – just like some men – “enjoy doing it”. “They are fed up with their husbands,” she said. However, Devika stressed that the allegations that this was being done without the women’s consent is a serious matter.
Other women influencers, on the other hand, have different opinions on how women’s consent figures into the practice of couple-swapping. They connect it with the fundamental issues of denial of women’s agency and freedom, including on the wider process of decision-making within the family.
“I don’t think any woman will be voluntarily willing to participate in couple swapping,” said Fathima Thahliya, an advocate and political activist. She said within the existing social system where women lack economic freedom and often face rights abuses, a man could gain his wife’s consent “forcefully or deceitfully”.
Asha Unnithan, a woman’s rights advocate, shared a similar view. “The women’s consent rarely matters here [in wife swapping practices],” she said. According to Unnithan, the wife-swapping practice actually has several commonalities with human trafficking.
Sandra M.J., a social worker, told The Wire, “Consensual sex between the adults and sharing partners are different things. It is very likely that women will be made victims [in “wife swapping”] … this is a new form of sex racket.”
Women rights activists argue that attitudes of many men continue to make their wives’ lives miserable and that married women should be offered supported to make them economically independent. “The women can ensure their safety only when they attain financial independence,” said Thahliya.
“Many men exploit the poor socio-economic conditions of their wives. These men consider their wives as slaves; as a commodity and treat them as they wish,” said Unnithan, a sentiment that Thahliya agreed with.
Unnithan also said every woman should have easy access to the official mechanisms available for seeking justice. “They [adult women] may not even see a social worker, a lawyer and a police officer in their lives. Access to the police should be made even smoother,” she said.
“Some men dangerously think that marriage grants them complete ownership of their wives,” said Thahliya. “We should correct them and teach them that both husband and wife have an equal role; have their own opinions, personalities and rights as human beings.”
Muhammed Sabith is a journalist and researcher. He can be reached at sabith.muhemmad@gmail.com.
